"Hand me that Roman Candle" Said Uncle Chester to my Cousin Randel But Randel had lit The fuse, we went "SHIT!!!" Sprinting in our flipflops & sandels Randel just stood there with a smile Like a mad pyro teen in denial He spun that tube around With a Ramboesque sound We were hardly impressed with his style Plus, it's hard to run when you're drunk And smoking weed Randel calls "Skunk" He was aiming at us It was all or bust As I Duke's of Hazarded grandma's trunk That's when I got wind, things were worse Our dear Randel had the candel reversed "Good God Randel, NO!!" Screamed Uncle Joe in slowmo As you think..."This family's cursed."