We approach the stage to see a young boy (horus8) with a pet hawk & a violin, he bow pulls a wicked note. Hard & strong into the ampitheatre. The audience patiently awaits the ticker boards story, it comes: (The villian appears and..) ">>>HORUS8 SPEWED,INFECTED,PROJECTED,REFECTED THIS... >Well, at least your poetry maintains a theme. All be it that theme is a shit soda with no >straw or lid, more power to you for doing it, but geezads your grasp of the art form is >handless, poetry should be an internally delivered representitive of something almost >unvoiceable, a reversable 3d puzzle from way deep within the subconcious. Allowing you > to learn more about yourself and the world around you. What you've done here is just >fallen in love and gone pure stupid, but in your pheremonic stupor you are oblivious and >are of the opinion that because your love is so terrific and new and special, than so >must be your poetry about it. Unfortunately, this is a temporary reaction to a temporary >disease that will bring your defenses down setting you up to be viciously pummeled and >tortured by the rack of longing, coupled by fear, and the human instinct to reproduce. I >would prepare for stifling inevitable jealousy and horrifficaly depressing loss. Have fun.   ============================================================= (Tommy Humphries says (the hero)   Noticed you have alot to say about my poetry, I've heard you out... first off like to say, you write some good stuff, also i would like to say, hey, with all hosently, I've only been writing this stuff for a month now, only better i get by the day... reason? Let me try to explain this hidden creative talent I've been repressing all my life though all my hate, fear, gulit, disgust with life... which is all gone now...   Like to say i don't take anti-depressants those only do you harm, never have never will...... prove otherwise.. (zanax is fine now :D)   I may be brand new at this poetry thing but i only get better by leaps every day... writing it only about a month...   You see my friend I've been soul searching the hard way, which is for the brave only... Being truly alone with yourself, which i've been in my 24 years, i've found you cant hide much, and you learn to blame no one but yourself for your problems. But that only comes when you truly do not enter stupid realtionships and get your heart stomped on simply because you dont have the strength to say 'NO', and live in isolation until what you long for comes around... which sir, I've truly done. And iam also aware that this is NOT what everone needs to do, as  everyones path is differerent, thats just mine. You see i don't need people, couldn't really stand to be around anyone, by this i mean getting to close (at all heh) for the first 23 years of my life... by choice, not because of anything else... Until i finally met what my soul has longed for... that true love, love at first sight.... as you see, all my live, i believed the one for me would just ki nda drop from the sky, come right to me... all i had to do was wait... guess what, thats exactly what happened, blew my mind away, the whole love at first site thing, better believe thats true. You see recently (last year) I've been soul searching... I've study the work of psychologist Carl Jung intensely, literally all day and night... worked though all my negative thoughts, feelings, etc... because all of them are NOT natural.. their created by the soicety, religion, our culture... due to the fact most people just follow "what someone else tells them" the easy way, instead of searching for the truth themselves... I will include this "soul map" I've created, which is really just kinda a table of contents for the journal i keep, which is growing to over 200 pages now, which i first started which i lost everything i had in my life, my job, apartment, all my credit cards, and had to move back in where i live currently with my grandmother (very long story, received a inheritance i had waited many years of $50000 got real real stupid crazy lost my ass)... so i started at rock bottom.   Per Carl Jung this is shadow complex work... taking a look at the worst, not hiding from it, to gain understanding, perspective, and insights not possible unless you ARE true to yourself, blame no one but yourself. You see in your little reply that sparked this email iam sending you, to sum it up are likey PROJECTING all your experiences of love onto me, i realize that is just my option, but hey id like to know if that isn't so, just where you have learned that life is like this? PROJECTED from your culture, religion..? being the other possibilities... quote you here... _____________________________________ "Unfortunately, this is a temporary reaction to a temporary disease that will bring your defenses down setting you up to be viciously pummeled and tortured by the rack of longing, coupled by fear, and the human instinct to reproduce"     ---------------------------------------------------------------------   RATIONAL THINKING HERE clearly, expect for the instinct to reproduce, which is really of the animal in us nature... remember it is only our intelligence that separates us from everything else in the world... which in itself is a beautifull thing, if used properly, which of course, society, in particular here in the USA, has no intentions of doing. Nuclear weapons for defense? Tell you what, bet no one will blame the scientists that created these damn things when some ass country gets their hands on one, blows something all to hell.. Thats the problem there, science is blind stupid of the fact NONE OF THAT shit will matter when the earth is destroyed because of it... and they call themselves ' intellects'... Course this is just one example of a endless line of shit that really isn't needed thats doing this...     But my friend fear, jelously and all this other fucking negativity you speak of ARE NOT natural in human nature... their all learned responses, and guess what.... THEY DO NOTHING TO HELP YOU AT ALL... your fear only makes you fear and screw up more.. NEVER can a negative energy/emotion do anything good... thats a double negative in a sense... what iam trying to say is this..... your awareness is heightened so dramatically when you stop thinking all this netagtive stuff (i mean the whole spectrum) that since your only thinking positively, and not repressing any thoughts, your much more creative, and good things happen to you.,... . Disagree? Then explain how for instance even getting angry truly does any good for you... WHEN YOU SEE CLEARLY, in getting angry with someone, your really suffering unto them... their causing you the pain of anger, because you set somehow set yourself up to be around them! (all your choice, fault)... oh how it adds up over time, in your bra in...     Sharing with you my soul map, my work over the last 18 months or so based on my ever yearning desrie to find the truth, and to learn... what iam all about..  so you may get the feel of what type of work iam doing here Its really just a table of contents i formed from all my journal writings (again 200 or so pages now) which has alot of astrological references to it... you may say its a bogus science, but uh. .. always had that in the back of my mind also, but i discovered this new science in the making... called SVP Universal Cosmology... which these last few months is what ive been studying...     LAW: it really is a musical universe. http://www.svpvril.com/Cosmology/cosunityTOC.html   And yes, mathematices, working with numbers, etc have always been my strong point, i burned the weed before i leart to read... so uh if my grammer, english sucks... it because it does and i dont care... heh   GOOD DAY, AND THANKS FOR ALL YOUR FEEDBACK ON MY WORK... in my view you care <evil grin> the only truth (course i wrote this) All you need to know, Comes from within. In search of the truth, The only way to point is, Deep within yourself. In your search for wisdom, You will find out, All that is real, And all that is not, In this world you create. You must seek the diamond, That only exists within, The far depth of your soul.         BELOW ATTTACHED SOUL MAP...........   ==========================================================       MY SOUL MAP, FROM THE ROOT - THOMAS HUMPHRIES ALL FROM JOURNAL CONTEXT! LOWER MAIN SHADOW AREA (saturn, mainly) (MARCH 9 2002 - APRIL 5 2003) 2ND CHARKA (SACRAL) 3RD CHARKA (SOLAR PLEXUS) 1- will in a word sum this up as DEBAUCH (3-9-02) 1-poetry from the heart (4-11-02) 3-hopelessness (7-25-02) 3-saturn essay (8-23-02) 4-all this fear of mine(9-6-02) 9-more love (heart) misc stuff (9-12-02) 10-basic manipulation touched on (9-21-02) 12-saturn probed with more depth (9-22-02) 14-fear(saturn)dark(pluto) linked (10-6-02) 14-"crisis in consciousness" spoke of (10-20-02) 15-self worth (10-24-02) 18-sadism touched (3-7-03) 20-long talk of guilt (3-11-03) So the lower main is formed, with a clear picture.. inner need to develope the 4th heart charka fear of love, low self worth, sadistic thoughts swarm the psyche.. touching on manipulation and guilt... UPPER MAIN SHADOW AREA (pluto, mainly) (JAN 27 2003 - MAY 10 2003) 4TH CHARKA (HEART) 1-complex labeled,'limbotron complex'(1-27-03) 1-fear of love, meets love at first sight head on, fear of rejection felt selfishness of nature..(2-3-03) 4-pluto/moon in my chart emotional to the very extreme (2-12-03) 6-love and failure connected, wonderful on v-day none the less! (2-14-03) 6-my predator of the psyche discovered (saturn in the 8th house, devil indeed) (2-17-03) 7-Control issues-- glore! (2-18-03) 8-heart (4 charka awareness) first felt (2-18-03) 8-feeling of love, intuition, resentment (2-19-03) 9-ah, on to the mind games, GLORE! (my pluto) (2-21-03) 10-humaltion, over-sensitive (2-22-03) 11-jelousie.... course (2-25-03) 11-my pluto, the manipulative mind game playing pinball machine! (2-26- 03) 12-turned into something like that evil 'volition' machine i believe it was called in that movie big, with tom hanks... when u add my saturn with it, the deeply cut sorrow master.. to these mind games (3-12-03) 15,17-here we have a culmination of my deepest,most negative, thoughts and feeling expressed i believe in human nature, heh.... obsessive- compulsive-jelousie-sadistic to the very extreme.... yum (3-15/16-03) 17-lack of self love thought of (3-18-03) 18-all this extremely negative stuff hitting all at once,the pain just cut right though my soul(3-19-03) 19-ON TWO PART II -- HEART CHARKA NOW FINALLY REALIZED..(3-21-03) 19-faith in love spoken of (3-21-03) 20-fear guilt feelings of worthlessness suffering now all coming forth to center (3-22-03) 20-denial repression suppression guilt anger resentment sorrow... all felt, to the extreme! (3-22-03) 22-ah, fade to secrecy! (3-22-03) 28-on to the paranoid, schizophrenic states, strange phobias and the likes (wee) (4-18-03) 29-first talk about shadow acceptance, knowledge (4-20-03) So the upper shadow area, basically can only be summed up this way L I M B O T R O N C O M P L E X ---- FORMULATED! NOW ON TO THE ROAD TO BECOMING AWARE (oneness) (APR 5 2003-CURRENT) 5th THROAT -6th BROW -7th CROWN CHARKAS part 1-star of discovery reading done (5th throat charka) (4-5-03) 2-limbotron complex formulated (4-12-03) 3-probing the shadow (pluto) (4-14-03) 4-base soul reached denial complex formulated (4-22-03) 4-begin schizophrenic, psychotic like state (4-22-03) 5-end schizoid, psychotic state (4-27-03) 7-isolation now discussed (5-9-03) part 2-star of illumation reading done (6th brow charka) (5-9-03) 8-chrion discussed (5-10-03) 9-awareness sense felt heightened (5-11-03) part 3-star of hope reading done (7th crown charka) (5-16-03) 9,11-manadella formed (5-16-03) 11-bold vision (5-26-03) 12-dream interptation (5-30-03) 13-very tough trial on shamic path (5-31-03)" Tommy, if Carl Jung was a live? This would kill him. Please, don't E-mail me your trite pussy whipped smegma fodder. Can't you see I'm busy conducting my Orchestra here? Now fuck off and go read "A brave new world" you pathetic shit monger. And Good day, let me know when you inherit some more money! I'll come over and you can pay me to shove it up your ass.   TODAY IS JUNE 1 JUST ONE THING COULD BE NEXT! SUMMER! (HAH!)