Down by my loins I feel a sensation, When she’s on top she’s a revelation, She asks for more, But my cocks so sore, I think of my ex and lose concentration. Why oh why is she so demanding, If my wood goes soft, She’s so reprimanding. So I close my eyes, And think of my idol Dirk Diggler, Then I feel the size of my cyclops get bigger, She’s getting jiggy with mr biggy and soon I can crash with bourbon and a ciggy, Cum shots 3 is on in the background, My hero the pizza delivery man is pleasure bound, His thick German accent inspires me, And the competition between us fires me, But I am no man for the Pizza dude, This broad in the sack was to damn rude. So here I lay a loser with a smoke, Who can’t even drink bourbon only with coke, And I will never be a porn star, Alas I suck like one.