It'd be nice if I cared. It'd be nice if I could be moved to do anything but complain. It'd be nice if I hadn't slipped on the ice and didn't have these spasms in my side. It'd be nice if I were paid $5 for every word I wrote. It'd be nice to create my own religion and get really rich and then fake my death so I could spend all my money in peace. It'd be nice if I could say to my so-called friend, "fuck off, you warmongering whore." It'd be nice if sleeping were a paid occupation. It'd be nice if the only choices really were sink or swim because I'm getting tired of just treading.