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rules (Free verse) by roses are read

you know what's fun writing with out punctuation it makes the person really pay attention to what you're saying and then you get to forget about the rules that's something i never ever do i can never let my gaurd down never forget the rules rules from the parents the school my peers society myself the one's from myself are the most important the ones that let me know when it's ok to cry and when i can't let them know how i feel the rules that tell me i must be perfect only if it's just an illusion the voi ces telling me that i must be skinny and thin and pale and beautiful even though i'm not the rules telling me how i have to restrain my joy so you will not judge me how i must not give in to all of your expectations and i must live up to all of them at th e same time i must not admit how much it costs to keep living this lie how i must not let my pudge show when i sit down and my jeans dig into my stomach how it must go away that pudge my hips must swallow it all and become flat how i must follow the rules not cut class not be a prude not be too much of myself not tell the truth keep on living this lie

pomoxo 18-Jan-03/8:55 PM
i'm sure what you're feeling feels real revolutionary right now but you'll look back on it in a few years and feel juvenile. honestly, how many times has the phrase 'living a lie' been used in the english language? the answer is far too many, which makes it a cliche and the problem with cliches is that they usually have a severe deficiency of potency. also, you're mostly talking about abstract concepts and not utilizing much concrete imagery and the concrete imagery you do utilize sparks little in the imagination. writing without punctuation is fun and makes us pay attention to you until it goes on for so long that it feels tedious and annoys your reader. punctuation, placed appropriately, is just as powerful as lack of punctuation, and punctuating does not neccessarily represent adherence to convention, punctuation can be used in very creative ways. read some ee cumming




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