I've been patently dismal this past week A wretch of a man, submerged in despair With no wish to laugh when my neighbor speaks, I do not wish to patronize nor dare To give in and become dead as the crow Laying peacefully on the plate I take And eat from, happily knowing how low I have sunk as I complacently rake My front yard so the neighbors will all see How dreadfully suburban my brand new Car, toaster, microwave and TV can be Just wait till they witness what I will do When I do not trim the bushes in a row, I'll laugh ever so politely as I go.