Dear Sir, With reference to that Plume Gateau, I bought from you a week ago, The bugger's furry and the icing's grey. I do not wish to be a boor. It's not the money (I'm not poor), It's just that I wanted it for Tom's birthday. And when I came to cut this cake, My knives they bend and then they break. It seems a wicked take-on trick to me, I've always found you're standards high, So pardon that I raise this cry, But this is more than calamity. It's a bloody rip off! Yours sincerely. Dear Sir (a reply came by return of post), We much regret this incident, We find it without precedent, And all the staff concerned have now been fired. We've had the baker shot at dawn, And burned his house and all the corn, That is used for making bread and cakes for the entire population of Northern Canada as punishment. Yours truly. And I still didn't get my money back.