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May Monday Explanation (Free verse) by MacFrantic

Arriving noon on train eleven Standing silent in the rain Downing doses of western medicine I can't be too late today Or too sober But in of itself this moment Is making my mind erode And by the way I'm not sorry Not in the least

sca 9-Jun-07/12:03 AM
I like the first four lines, but after that it's like the meter/syllables/what-ever-poetry-nuts-call-it completely changes... I mean, the meaning works, really well, but that sudden drop between moment and erode just doesn't sit right as I read it.

=> Jess




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