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Complaints (Free verse) by jessicazee

All day with the shovel, your back and the sidewalk, my hot cocoa salt stains, salty beef stews, your knee again. I tried to make a funny show with shadowed dirty hands- it was the bear, wasn't it?

richa 16-Feb-07/2:35 PM
I don't know what cocoa salt stains are. I'd stick with just cocoa stains. I like how you go back to his knee again to communicate its intermittent nature. I presume you have been chided for playing the fool with the shadow hands. 'it was the bear wasn't it?' is interesting. I read it as an innocent attempt to explain why your playful.ness had elicited complaint. It is difficult to get a grip of at first but it does make sense after a few reads.




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