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Chronicles of a wannabe chav (Free verse) by Mr Pig

Chav Tattoo Blood spoked leaving chinese italics ‘what do they mean Kev? asked Kazza’ ‘Dunno but it looks well smart said Kev’ oi mate watch you don’t stain the Henri Lloyds right? Ahmed on the da pull 2am by Orange house innit Ahmed pumped some Tupac From his Suped up Subaru With an exhaust like his wanna have cock Hey ladeez looking fine from da hood ‘Fuck off ya twat’ Ahmed tries to hide in his fila Doing up his electric windows But electrics broke innit Catch ya later bitches Chav Haircut Okay how would you like it Right I wanna look like dis yeah ‘Chris can you do another Beckham’ Well I don’t wannit if anyone else is aving it Oh well its just that their so popular Oh whatever Just a trim then bro Ali G Wannabe talkin dirty You don’t say much darlin but my northsides going southside Down to the kingdom of peach and melba Where Ali’s gonna slip ya his wad And you is gonna buy yourself a cone of ice cream innit. His Mum shouts from the landing Joey are you kissing that bloody mirror again? No shat up mum

Ranger 7-Sep-06/1:17 PM
Oh, mister P, once again you give us an amusing reflection on modern life. If only this could be turned into a full-length epic of beauty, barbarism and Burberry...




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