Ranger7 Sep 2006

I think, really, you're spot on. I wanted to believe that stanza 6 could work, but really knew it wouldn't - at least if I change it there'll be room for a connecting stanza. It'd also remove the temporal issue (again, you're right about and I tried to make myself think it would work).
I love the idea of making the last stanza flawed...perhaps if I changed 'free of knot or tether' it might work? I couldn't say where you might have seen this before, although I wouldn't be surprised if you've found similar in Kipling or Milne (big influences :-D). I guarantee the work is my own though ;-)
Once more, thank you for reading and suggesting ideas, you're always so kind about my writing :-)