What is this life, if, led like this, We have no time to stand and piss? No time to shit beneath the boughs, Or else all over, like the cows, No time to frolic as we pass, Or hide our nuts beneath the grass, No time to streak in broad daylight, And give the neighbourhood a fright, No time to turn at someone's glance, And watch their breasts, and take a chance, No time to slurp out of a can, And eat our beans straight from the pan, A poor life this, if led as such, We haven't really time for much.