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A Time to Dance (Free verse) by Dovina

Daddy, I have need of you You should be living in this hour The world’s a fen of Selfishness, technology and theft We’ve forfeited your gentle care Last night I dreamed of you Closed-eyed in another’s arms He spun me, held me, smiled at me And told me I was fine You never danced me—wasn’t right But many years have passed And in your arms last night I followed, transferred back Swung to a better past I thought you’d like to know That in that final hour When you told me, “Blessed Jesus, I’m tired; let me go,” That another’s come He’s just like you But not you, not the same And as he swung me, held me Closed eyes thought of you And thought you would approve

Friend 29-Jul-06/11:30 AM
This has the potential to be an incredibly good write. It just wasn't, though. I see below comments that you're trying to explain the poem; if you need to do that that's when you really know that it was a bad write. Maybe stick to writing about things more personal and therefore more readable. Poetry is supposed to be FELT ... yet I felt nothing when I read this.




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