Edna's Ode to the Queen Mother whilst remembering the Horror of her one Hundredth Birthday in August 2000. Celebrating c.450 Liz-free months. Liz Bowes-Lyon, ugly daughter of scum Scottish landowners, Married stuttering Bertie, useless cretinous scion Of German George, Kaiser Bill's dimwit cousin, And, thanks to Eddie's lust for a conniving Yankee slut, Got herself as Queen, the greedy, grasping goat. In World War Two, she only once moved arse To go and gawp at bombed out Bethnal Green; Sycophantic, insincere, smiling like a drunken Cheshire Cheese At East Enders' broken battered homes, Then back to old Buck House, with fags a plenty. Oh, what a fucking shame Uncle Adolf's friendly bombs Didn't blow her useless twat and tits sky high. Once well-meaning dimwit George had smoked his pointless way To cancerous death, the ghastly Liz blossomed like a rancid weed, A loathsome leech sozzled in greed and gin by the bucket, Peering over her children's wealthy, autocratic lives.   How we all prayed to a deaf God for her urgent demise, But OH NO, the evil old goat lived to be a hundred and one, At public expense and to the joy of Gordon's Gin, Purveyors of delicious alcoholic beverages to the palace. But now no more we hear the cry, "I'll have another G&T"; No more her hatred of Di, adulterous multi-shagger extraordinaire. And if her braindead grandson, Prince Big Lugs (not forgetting His equine consort, previous possessor of a beloved Tampax, Star of joy-making illicit tape-recordings downloadable for a small fee) Think they're going to mount the throne if Queen Liz any vote, They can go and screw themselves with a broken bottle. And the world sings, "Fuck off, you ghastly gang of vermin." Cha cha cha.