Dovina24 Apr 2006

"Dissever from reality"? I think you mean, "sever reality"

"the people" seems unneeded - who elsw would you show it to?

I don't know what you mean by "my separated hair."

"to discriminate from sin that WHICH divides my head into halves." - a provocative line with lots of implications.

"at night" at the end seems unnecessary. Does it matter whether or not it's at night.