Poemranker [Replying] Sat May 04 18:44:22 PDT 2024

Replying to a comment on:

A cagier lightning strikes with care. Cat-like cautious side-step splits purple rolling pillow sky, clouds Swift glancing light Pause- Over ground voice, left back crackles like static, moving, catches up - hovering Turns- Moves again to find the earth has spun away

Ranger

3-Apr-06/10:43 AM

Think of the 'being in a club, too shy to go and talk to a girl, finally giving your courage the appropriate metaphorical kick, being at a loss for what to say, then looking up to find she's gone off with someone else' scenario.
The purple rolling sky sits nicely with the smoky, dimly lit air in these places, I think.
As for the voice, think thunder following the lightning - like the lightning's at a loss for words. Also, 'over ground voice' was meant as a sort of play on 'over-ground voice'. I always think my voice sounds harsh and grating when I'm straining to speak above the noise in clubs. It doesn't help that I hate the places...

Make more sense? I've been trying to figure out ways of increasing the clarity in this one without giving too direct a reference to what I'm talking about.

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