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The Ocean (Haiku) by Fayt

Salty ocean waves, Always moving with the wind, Bringing life to all.

BenRice 9-Mar-06/12:43 PM
Usually a haiku has a sort of pause or break after either the first or second line. This one doesn't, but in this case I think it works because of the continual movement of the waves. I'm not a fan of the last line though. The word "Salty" works against it (I don't think salty water as life-giving). It sounds a bit trite too, "to all"? really? With the right change in that last line, this could be a very good haiku, imho.




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