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let me know (Free verse) by skaskowski

let me loose, and i'll dive through the scum to retrive all the keys i've swallowed; stopping the drain up as the pissy water rushes through. this night brings delight in a crude sort of manner. my hands will reach for all the demons i've scattered. (the things i knew would bury me somehow, some day). all of those rooms have since settled to cobwebs and dust by the dull gray inches. but all of these clouds have been looming, and now the rain must pour forth. let me loose, my handcuffs are rusty. my wrists are all brown and smell kind of musty. i must have forgotten to delouse before you housed me. because my head is all itchy and i'm getting bitchy, all of a sudden i woke up to this grating desire to set all the fireworks ablaze. this house is a maze of forgotten rooms, and i have slept here in the movie hall, pruned like a tree to believe that i could grow through the roof. but the sunlight has broken through pipe-cracks and wood slats and i am aware again. so give me comfort or give me death.

LilMsLadyPoet 31-Jan-06/9:04 AM
"pour forth" was a little too uppity for the rest of it. I would change that. When I got to pissy water, I thought I wasn't going to like this. But then you went on the interest me. The last two lines were a little too cliche for me; you could have ended before that, with no harm done.




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