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Best left unsaid (trust first instincts edit, w/thanks) (Free verse) by ecargo

My tongue’s loose slide would soon let slip this truth, bruised blue, behind these sentinel teeth. We meet. Touch. Fuck. We seldom speak much more than surface gloss-- from niceties to wordless heat, we move. With your hand warm on my neck, I swallow words thick with promise, glistening like larva trapped in tissue webs, my palate ridged as a whale's. Words grow pallid as mushrooms in the echoless dark, slick with the sweat of caves. I want to devour you, a carnal glide, deep as a worm, down, down, in my rich earth.

Alizarin_Crimson 22-Jan-06/9:47 AM
I don't like the fact that "fuck" is the most powerful word in this poem. It kind of throws off everything else. Probably because the words leading up to it are so much less agressive. I'd just replace it with a synonym. And if it could rhyme with "teeth" that would be awesome.




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