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WHAT KIND OF FOOL ARE YOU? (Free verse) by Joshua_Tree

How many fools have been found by love, Empty, desolate, and longing, Surrendered to their low estate Finding that for which they had dared not hope? How many have been made fools by love, Certain of their lives and dreams, Crushed upon the rocks of anguish, Stripped of all they thought to be? How many fools have forsaken love, Hardened lonely and bitter, Surrounded by walls of their own making, Protected from all but their own selfishness? How many fools have been revealed by love, Bold, brash or embittered, Squeezed until their heart pours forth, The secrets they had hoped to retain.

Joshua_Tree 28-Jun-05/10:46 AM
Verse 4, line 2 points back to the three types of fool in vv. 1-3. Now that you point out the weakness, I think it needs to be a little longer and mush more obvious.

Verse 1, line 4 lost its time indicator in an edit that I should have reverted. There are plenty of empty words in that line that can be bumped for the needed clarity.

Your comments are considered and insightful. Such feedback is the reason that I tolerate certain others.




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