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Moments (or) Suicide (Free verse) by Dovina

I made a list as you could do of ten events so brief, profound they rest as Moments vividly recorded for a Moment cannot be mundane Seven remain as wonderful three as terrible. If the list continued I’d like to think seventy percent could be maintained as great My life reviewed and judged like this might be considered in some dark hour not just bunk, but as in this ordinary time for its just worth

thepinkbunnyofdoom 8-Apr-05/12:21 PM
Last stanza, 2nd to last line, "as" seems like unneeded filler. Same with S2 L1. Last few lines seem a little convoluted. I get your meaning, but... there has got to be a better way of getting your point across.




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