Replying to a comment on:

Forbidden Fruit(2) (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom

I am forbidden fruit You can't have me After all, its like they say The apple doesn't fall far from the tree So you can curse my name on public streets And whisper it sweetly in your sleep I'm getting sick of this game Either take the chance Or forget me I taste of vanilla Sweet extract contraband Sold in shady markets What would your mother say If she saw you here Looking for me The seed of a bad tree You can curse my name on this public street No need to kiss and tell, I can be discreet The apple that caught your eye Naked you walked before me Hungry you consumed A guilty pleasure The seed of a bad tree But knew I could never fill you forever So you can curse my name on this public street You can't have me I am forbidden fruit

Dovina 8-Apr-05/12:18 PM
I get the forbiddenness you want her to see. But it seems that if you want to use that Biblical analogy, it would be better to talk of Eve and a serpent and the enticing fruit on a tree she was told not to touch. And twist that image into the things your are saying.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001