richa30 Oct 2004

There is not a single piece of poetry published in the last hundreds years that is written in an archaic manner for no reason. Look in any poetry journal or magazine. Poetry is about communication. Why sabbotage your own poem by being so convoluted. What you seem to have done here is to think of an idea then substitute prosaic words (the idea) for poetic words (the poem).

For instance: "no blooms we see from those deflowered". The reason I interpreted it as once you chop the heads off flowers they never flower again (which would be incorrect) is because otherwise all you are saying is flowers which have had their flowers taken away are not flowering which is a tautology. Why say it.