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Brogues are best (Free verse) by Stephen Robins

The attire for feet of aspiring rogues, The inimitable comfort of Church's brogues, Perfectly designed for pleasurable walking, What else would you choose to stalk in? Best worn with tweed and never morning dress, Take them off last when you undress, Brown at the weekend, black in the club, A verucca brogue to be worn, alone, in the tub. Treat your brogues as you would a young lady, Use a shoe horne and slide in them gently, Pay particular care to the state of the heel, Lest you come undone in Church when you kneel. No loafers for me, nay, nor your boots, For only a true gentleman knows when one shoots, One will appear as a parvenu, Unless one has a pattern 'pon the front of one's shoe.

Fraser Allonby Q.C. 4-Oct-04/4:51 AM
There's only one type of footwear
That can truly be said to suit
The feet of an English gentleman:
The sturdy "Welly" boot.

Named after the intrepid Duke
Whose hobby was to shoot
The naughty, dirty Frenchmen:
A toast to the "Welly" boot!

The boot is made of rubber
And stands in high repute
With the King and all his serving-men:
Give praise to the "Welly" boot!

The wearer of the Oxford brogue
Looks like a common brute
When stood beside the wearer
Of the English "Welly" boot!

A sign of a valiant hero
Whom all the world salute:
Give praise to God and England;
Shout "Huzzah!" for the "Welly" boot.




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