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untitled :( (Free verse) by XxRuby_KillsXx

I wonder out of my dark tomb , Where sunshine strikes my eyes Blinding me for several minutes as I remembered all your lies I could still here my cries From when you choked me with all my ties Once my vision returned I could see all the bleeding cuts on my breast The dark hole that you had replaced for my heart was hurting my chest My migraines from all the flashbacks was worser than 5 days in a mosh pit at the ozzfest And yet I miss your lips against mine and putting my head on your shoulders as I rest My soul wont rest in peace until I know why you have betrayed me I thought you where the one that would let my soul be Ever since we made love out in sea But it was all a lie , a lie I couldn’t see I though I had nothing to fear No reason to throw out a tear I thought I was going to spend my time with you for over a year but now your not here My soul flies out in the night charging as fast as a dark knight looking for you over the moon light ready to give you your last fight I spot you in a dark alley ready to sacrifice Not your self , but a women with a knife The same knife that took my life You didn’t even think twice about killing your wife I was about to murder your body to let your soul fight with mine But I couldn’t bare to hurt you , so I stood and watched as you counted to nine Then stabbed the women in the chest as you drank your wine I cried asking why I couldn’t murder you; it could of been my time to shine I just wish you could be dead I would love to see you laying hopelessly covered in red So I wouldn’t have any depressing thoughts in my head And my soul would finally be able to enjoy death in bed I have not thought of a name suggestions would be nice :)

Christof 26-Aug-04/7:25 AM
Supreme Dreamer says it all except that the last line in bathetic - that weak final rhyme lets the whole structure down. Also ;It could of been; - 'it could have been'. 'Of' is not a part of a verb and never will be. Jeez, I'm sorry you're taking all this crap over your grammar, but I think it's because people see something they like in your writing and really want you to get better.




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