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May Monday Explanation (Free verse) by MacFrantic

Arriving noon on train eleven Standing silent in the rain Downing doses of western medicine I can't be too late today Or too sober But in of itself this moment Is making my mind erode And by the way I'm not sorry Not in the least

unknown^user 2-Aug-04/4:49 PM
Love it! Especially the use of sequential numbers as an introduction.
Concise, abrupt and blount, but I still have that clear image of a tired commuter waiting for a train. What is the commute good for if not to let us dwell on our own depression?
Only small critique is that "But in of itself" is a little confusing. Still though, great.




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