Dovina12 Jul 2004

The last section "Flow" is absolutely great.

I wonder why you placed the three days after death in reverse order. They seem better chronologically. I see the year before death as good at the end though.

Why the indented form on just one section? And the long lines in just one section? It seems better to hold the short-line form throughout.

You will not receive the attention you deserve on poemranker with poems this long. The last section, in particular, could stand alone.

"He clutched it by the throat,"