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When the night completes (Free verse) by donmiguel1960

Disparity of life wears on Calm delight in children Joyous for the gentleness of others Yet true passion is withdrawn Satisfaction in keeping a vow Contentment in doing what is right Seeking the interest of the other Never feeling passion until now Truth offered only in dreams Reminiscent of love gone by Images of what might have been Vanishing visions of moonlight beams Allowing life to live Thankful for those dreams Moments of reality in the night Soul of my heart, preparing me to give Thirsting for watery streams Another day begins in this never-ending plight

Shuushin 2-Jul-04/5:19 AM
There's some good language in here though it comes off a little choppy'list-like.

How is that fixed? Try, if you want, playing with where the lines end and your preposition use (there are lots of them in here).

Flow and show?




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