<VERSE THE 1st> Baby, baby - you’re so great, if I was queer you’d make me straight, but that’s just an example, though, cause I hate gays, and can’t even imagine being one, cause when I saw you I knew it was fate started thinking ‘bout crossroads, or maybe a freight train or some crap that could get me an eight- plus-two from yawnman and penguin (-fiend, I mean, plus Razor and Miggy – now come on Everyone, IT'S TIME TO GET JIGGY!) <CHORUS> Oh, I’m just a dangling poo, hanging on I’ll make it pretty ugly when it’s time to leave the john (K) Oo-oo-oo-oo! what will you do, with that danglin, janglin poo, tangled in a hair - or two? Oh, I’m just a dangling poo, afraid to land don’t bother with the paper, girl, you’ll have to use your hand, Deet-de-de-dee! just wait and see, cause when morning comes you’ll find there’s still a smell here that reminds you of meeee-heeeee!!!!! <VERSE THE SECOND> Don't be scared now baby, I'm pretty small if you wriggle a little, then maybe I'll fall, and girl, let me tell you: when that happens we'll all give praise like it's Rosh Hashanah. Cause we've strained & struggled 'round half the night, makes me think s'bout time I got out of sight, but don't be sad, baby, cause you'll feel alright after some Seagrams and a high colonic (or fiber, or yoga, or fisting, or sumpin - but come on Everyone, IT'S TIME TO START BUMPIN!) <CHORUS #2 - HORNS & SPONTANEOUS CHOREOGRAPHED STREET DANCING!!> Oh, I’m just a dangling poo, hanging on I’ll make it pretty ugly when it’s time to leave the john Oo-oo-oo-oo! what will you do, with that danglin, janglin poo, tangled in a hair - or two? Oh, I’m just a dangling poo, from your pipe don’t bother with the paper, girl, you need an auto-wipe! Deet-de-de-dee! just wait and see, cause when morning comes you’ll find there’s still a smell here that reminds you of meeee-heeeee-hee-heeeee!!!!! <END W/ HIGHEST POSSIBLE FALSETTO - FADE TO FLUSHING SOUNDS>