Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The secret press (Free verse) by zodiac
They have an aging third-world washer, guava green in a back bathroom, with two compartments: one a defunct agitator they call 'Obrero', the other an electric spin-wringer that works - named 'Tlatelolco', which after everything's the only thing left of it worth holding on to. So - some tropic night, after meetings after the calls, the chairs grating, the then-hush meaning the sweatshop tailors under are riding late buses out to the barrios and thinking frijoles or Beta's wedding, they've invented a system: wash, wring, rinse, wring, rinse, wring. Then hung on the roof for morning, the city shut on itself and still - or so - numinous. It makes him expansive, the order of it, the way she keeps that old wringer spinning or pushes a wisp of hair from her face with a track of soapsuds. This is the revolution, he's fond of saying, always smoking, his inkstained hands drawing bubbles through a worn shirt, each weft of it something breathing. Exploding. In my village, she thinks, the way my mother woke us cranking her Forties mangle. Strong-armed as she was, she made her hands useless for grasping after. And would she have held us if she could? Didn't she though? she asks. Then, after a moment, No, She wouldn't have recognized herself in this. In the end, she says, it's all doctrines and doctrines. Or what's left? A wash, a wet housedress she pulls up over her navel, her breasts. In the end it's clothes with clothes under. And she's bent shivering, bare arms in a tub, till his lips find the smear left on her shoulder where she's swatted a mosquito and then forgotten, and she says, oh the copy table, love, spread me thin as paper, print me like a banner. Him: So; how we spin as fast as we can. Her: How it hangs me in a damp night wind.

Up the ladder: In the hollow (rough)

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 31
.. 00
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 8.714286
Weighted score: 5.998925
Overall Rank: 1308
Posted: May 28, 2005 6:00 AM PDT; Last modified: May 28, 2005 6:06 AM PDT
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

INTRANSIT

Comments:
[5] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 28-May-05/11:19 AM | Reply
Yeah, great. A pity it isn't poetry.
[n/a] zodiac @ 213.186.170.67 > deleted user | 30-May-05/3:48 AM | Reply
Of course it's poetry. Consider the evidence:

1) The lines are much shorter than the space available. Sometimes, they're not even the same length. There are paragraph-breaks inserted at odd places.

2) "No" and "though" rhyme. "Agitator" and "Tlatelolco" almost do.

3) It's posted on a poetry website, with "Free Verse" written at the top.

4) People who come to poetry websites to read and vote on poetry are voting on it.
[n/a] Dental Panic @ 84.31.86.195 | 28-May-05/5:39 PM | Reply
I think it's poetry. Like the way the spin-wringer resonates through the stanzas. Doctrines and doctrines.
[5] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > Dental Panic | 28-May-05/6:06 PM | Reply
I didn't mean to be gruff. There is also resonating proze. No objections to blending proze and poetry but 'Secret press'is on a danger line. It's obvious you Americans are fond of stuff like this.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.67 | 28-May-05/7:59 PM | Reply
Because Beta usually follows alpha or precedes -max, I have problem here. If it is an actual name for fact keeping purposes, then ignore this. When you said navel I thought she might be pregnant which would have worked as well but I didn't write it and there's nothing wrong with your choice.
If I was female, I'd be wrung. Metrics all the way.
[5] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 > INTRANSIT | 28-May-05/8:40 PM | Reply
'Metrics all the way'??
[10] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.204 > deleted user | 29-May-05/6:28 AM | Reply
Just a new way of saying 10. I read this aloud to my wife last night and came across other little nits, I'm sure Z-ac knows where they are and how to fix'em.
[n/a] zodiac @ 213.186.170.67 > INTRANSIT | 30-May-05/4:08 AM | Reply
Beta is a name. The name of a good friend of mine from Mexico days, actually. I'd like to say I meant something by it, but the truth is at the time I just couldn't think of any Spanish girls' names not overused in poetry.

In my defense, I did mean something by "agitator", "wringer", "mangle" and "banner". That's got to be worth something, considering.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.138 > zodiac | 30-May-05/8:17 AM | Reply
-It makes him expansive- made me think of an over-reaching mexican govt. But somehow that worked too. How do YOU feel about this piece?
[n/a] zodiac @ 213.186.191.78 > INTRANSIT | 31-May-05/5:24 AM | Reply
I like it. I'm just still working out how to make it poetry.
[8] bellafuego @ 199.77.249.2 | 4-Sep-05/9:44 AM | Reply
thanks for the comment on "Lessons" after reading some of your poems the meaning i was trying to convey wasn't coming across. your work is pretty skilled, very easy to visualize the words.
315 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001