Hello, and welcome to Poemranker. Now piss off:
THE unOFFICIAL POEMERANKER SURVIVAL GUIDE
So, youâve run across Poemranker while surfing across this wondrous imaginary landscape that we call the internet. Youâre probably thinking that youâve found a place where you can post your poetry for the entire world to appreciate. You are wrong.
What youâve found is a place to dump all of your mindless drivel and have countless people make fun of what an illiterate hack you are. Thatâs right. YOU are not an expert poet. If you were, youâd be publishing these poems, not posting them on a web site. Still with me? Good, because what you have also found is the only place on the internet that can actually help you get better at writing. That is, if you let it. I have created this guide to help you get the most from your Poemranker experience. It worked for me (Seriously, read my poems). Iâve gone from Crap to Ass in just under two years. Another couple of years on The Ranker, and I might be Dick. By the way, if that last sentence offended you, then you should leave now.
Letâs get started.
1. First, check your ego at the door. People are going to critique your poems. Thatâs why youâre here. If you want to have people gush over you, then I suggest you go to Poetry.com (I guarantee that they will publish you, no matter how good you are). Poemranker is a place where you can learn what youâre doing right and what youâre doing wrong. If people are âmeanâ to you, then thatâs just their way and you either need to accept it or leave, because itâs going to happen. If everyone is giving you low votes, it probably means that itâs not very good and you need to work on it. You think theyâre wrong. Good for you! Youâre wrong. The poem needs work. Iâll say it again to make sure you got it: IF YOU DONâT WANT PEOPLE TO CRITIQUE YOUR WRITING, DONâT POST IT.
2. Vote. This is PoemRANKER.com, not poemreaditandmoveon.com. If you read a poem, take that extra two seconds and give it a vote (If you donât know how to vote, then youâre retarded and donât need to be reading poetry). If you look at the majority of poems on this site, youâll see that many have 100 views and 4 votes. This should not be. If you want people to take the time to read your poem and vote on it, donât you think that you owe them the same courtesy? Every time you post a poem, you should read and vote on (at least) every poem on the â20 Most Recent Poemsâ page. And donât just give them all 10âs or 0âs. Thatâs just crap. Worried that people will get mad at you if you give their poem a 3? Who cares? What are they gonna doâ¦come kick your ass?
3. Actually try to get better. Whatâs the point of writing if youâre not going to try to get better? Read other poetryâ¦both here and that of actual real, live (or dead) poets. Whatâs that? Youâre writing because it helps you cope? Fine and dandy. Understand this, though: Nobody wants to read that. Donât post it if thatâs all youâre in for. No one wants to read about how your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you. However, they might like what you write if you write in an interesting way. Youâve probably heard this: âShow, donât tellâ (Thatâs true). Youâve also probably heard this: âItâs good if it comes from the heartâ (That is a lie). Make youâre poem interesting and someone might actually like it.
Thatâs about it. The Poemeranker isnât that complicated. Actually, thereâs probably more, but Iâm too tired and growing bored with this. Rankers that have been here a while, please feel free to post addendums to this (I know you will).
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