Re: The Dawn Of Darkness by Dariana |
6-Oct-02/9:40 PM |
Thanks for your comments.
Ummm I hope if I make a couple of suggestions you won't be offended (I fully admit I know nothing about poetry) But if you changed the line ending "horror first began" to "horror did begin" you get a closer match in rhyme.
Also the last line should end in the word 'sin' ... something about the night bringing sin maybe
Just a couple of thoughts ( :
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Re: Truths by Nicholas Jones |
6-Oct-02/9:26 PM |
Ryn: No I'm not Darren Day, whoever that fellow might be.
Champagne socialists have always been rather laughable, on both sides of the fence. / :
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Re: Human self pity by Service |
6-Oct-02/9:07 PM |
I understand what you are saying. I dig trenches, you find comfort and seek the innocence in memorys from your past. Both of us avoiding the reality of the present.
I can relate.
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