Replying to a comment on:

A Permanent Fixture (Free verse) by wilco

A giant stands among the weeds Standing guard over nothing Its arms outstretched and beckoning to its denizens with flames upon withered fingers. It has stood in this place for a decade more than life; Seeing all and knowing nothing but the secret of survival. With no measure of the years and no care for wasted time, it sits idly as nothing more than a vessel for the earth. Casting only soft shadows upon the faded prints of feet, it watches valiantly over the slowly dimming lights and it's dying children below. With no measure of the years and no care for wasted time, it sits idly as nothing more than a vessel for the earth. And as the waning hours slowly bleed life into the night, the docile behemoth waits quietly for the coming of another day.

Fear of Garbage 23-Mar-04/9:30 AM
ok now be honest. you wrote this awhile ago too, didn't you? good, but not as good as the first poem i read of yours.
i really thought the last sanza was good, the 1st three lines anyway, but the last line just kind of faded out. i think....maybe you need to work on your endings. something more...grabbing or poignant.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001