Shuushin3 Nov 2003

LoL, Bachus (baba/jeremi/horus/shardik) - not too bad!

I get a kick out of the Mon- /-day line

why not just end it with "[something something ...sun"? then you can stretch the charlie horse line with something (you can do it).

On second thought - keep it, it adds something. Extra points for formed verse.