When my poems go platinum I'll fetch myself a limo And buy a hot pink hippo I shall pierce both my nipple and poke out your good 'I' When my poems go platinum I'll whistle straight up Mozart in my diamond turbo go-cart i'll pay a man to suck fart and say the bible was a lie. When my poems go platinum I will weigh the stratosphere and design a better bitter beer I will be so man, it will be queer As luke warm cherry apple pie. When my poems go platinum I will pretend I never wrote them no matter how you vote 'em and tattoo my sweetest scrotum "A Falcon God's long eye!" When my poems go platinum 'haps I'll golde n fleck my poo The shape of -=Dark_Angel's=- horned shoe When my clock goes lou Cukoo I'll breakdance in the sky. When my poems go platinum I'll don my favourite ass mask and burgularize your wine cask then in tanning booth I shall bask repeatedly with a sigh. When my poems go platinum you'll wonder just what happened to make this kid so dappened A hero with no chaplain Just some mouldy Brie. When my poems go platinum I will find the Asian lover Some call the latex glover She's known to be a scrubber AND I'M A DIRTY BOY IN TIE When my poems go platinum I will claim twas poemranker that gave me my big breaker being an evil oated Quaker That questions every why. When my poems go platinum I will pretend I never met you And nod though I have no clue What you say you went through for my Telepathic "Hi". Last week I had a party and used most of your poetry as coasters. (Titled by my brother Brandon Laasch Chandler)