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Upside down and tigers (Free verse) by horus8

Jungle and night, those stars. Up my amber eyes Up my burning gaze Up my heart beat The cleansing pulse, and hunt. Which keeps no balance between here and there or you and I. Cracked earth, those days. Volcanic soil my paw print. Lap water at the brook my cold tongue Blood whiskers, canines, ivory -- long beautiful smile, reflections... When I see our face watered up at me I lowest growl pheromones, a strong musk. We are upside down and tigers Day sleepers Down my full stomach Down my need to kill until tonight, when we'll tiger still.

impert&ent 17-Sep-03/7:56 AM
I like it. It works. But I'm gonna offer a critique as well: musk is from oxen. Was it ox for dinner? Pheromones is far less visceral than any other word in the poem. I can't smell it. Perhaps:
I lowest growl of hot flesh on your cool.




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