Poemranker [Replying] Sat Apr 27 16:52:22 PDT 2024

Replying to a comment on:

Nicholas Martin (Other) by horus8

To the poets of poemranker & those who knew the ingenius poetry of Settle; A very strange thing happened to me today. I received a phone call from his Mother. Apparently, Nicholas, decided to hang himself dead in his apartment. Nicholas, was my friend, and a brilliant young man. Why he chose to end his life at twenty years of age is just incredibly unjustifiable and a fucking shame. I had him over for dinner earlier this Summer, and I sensed he was depressed, but this is just unbelievable and very disturbing to me. Therefore, I will keep this short. For those of you that shared an interest in his mind as I very much did... Take a moment with me now. A young and beautiful artist has left the building permanently. God bless you Nicholas, and you and your family will be in mine, and my family's prayers. 9-12-03. With love, and condolences, Jeremi Britt Handrinos.

horus8

14-Sep-03/3:03 PM

1. No, it's not about the tickets, it's about the
fact that you know I am, and was struggling to have
a real career in a positive healthy aspect, and this was
my first big gig on a real significant level for me and
you knew that and you know that I've worked very hard practicing everyday (writing, acting, playing, singing) for the last five fucking years, while providing for my family
with no help from my family or hers, ironically,
older more intelligent gay men with a real interest in making a difference in my life have went out of their way
at every opportunity available to step up and support
my valiant task of having a family while re-educating
myself and educating them, a very expensive task. So,
yeah, i'll do whatever necessary, so that I can go to
acting school, and music school, and send my son to a great school so that him and his mother might have a better life with more opportunities. That's not egomanical you daft that's love That's Mary Magnallen love, I can't help
it if people are more interested in blowing me than
my mind, but it's been that way my whole life, so if
they won't give me the 'real' job, god damn right
they're going to pay to blow me. water seeks the lowest
level, so why not bring a boat. what are you stupid all
of a sudden. You know all of this about me, you cry
with me about it, promise to be on my side and have
helped me all along all of these years, and then turn
around and condem me for it? you are unloyal darling
and tactically, a traitor.

2) That I would sell my soul
and sacrafice my integrity? for a new beginning at
life for my family and myself? you know i was in military
prison, you know no real employer on a nine to five level
would hire me after seeing my record, you know there is very few jobs in the 9-5 world I could qualify for, because,
I'm over qualified, you know I'm a genius, and I deserve
a chance to share my magic with the world and make a normal
life for me and my family too, doing what I'm best at,
story telling and performing. My world is not 9-5, nor has it ever it's 24-7, I spend all day every day fighting for a better life and a stronger foundation and education for my family. People with big ego's can't do that especially if they are Narcissistic, because a Narcissist, idiot,
wouldn't take physical or mental risks like i do, for anything, they might be flawed in the process, and a Narcissist, or ego maniac, are to terrified of dying
and preoccupied with how they look and feel to make that dangerous of a sacrifice that hustling is saturated in.
Disease, murder, drugs, rape, the night life, the guilt,
the lack of self respect and constant self mutilation. get it? i'm not an ego maniac patty. I'm a struggling young father that's trying to make up in hurry for all of the lost time in his past when he was selfish and rebelling, mostly against nothing but himself and a shallow culture of idiots like you.

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