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Paranoia & the thinnest curtain (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
Since that phone call yesterday
I can't do a motherfucking thing,
but stare and do laps around my house.
Your name alone has that effect
On my life without you.
Even I don't know for certain.
I can't seem to form it into
a shape that I can name, or define.
I have never felt like this before.
And I've been through hell
with, and without permission.
To sum that last statement up in science fiction terms?
It's like Captain Kirk proclaiming that he's lost.
And Bones having no analysis to smugly offer.
17 windows secured.
4 doors locked every way available.
0 chimneys to worry about,
but give me a minute and I might invent one.
How long is too long to listen for noises?
Which noises are real, and which are created?
It doesn't matter because, I feel it.
Coming on like the 5 O'clock news in a mental ward.
Or rain on your only day off to fish.
House over cleaned
Friends turned away
Family sent to safer waters
Public contact shunned, yet monitored.
Instinctually strained like a bowl of dinner noodles.
All realistic priorities neglected.
and as jumpy as a motion detector light
On a retired couple's garage.
Setting new perimeters to
Joe Joe Dancer's last waltz.
I am afraid of you
Has it been that long?
Seperation did not make my heart grow founder.
It turned me into you.
Searching with no good eye to close.
Mother's coming home,
and everyone is watching me wait
For one more chance
To bury this hatchet
once and for all.
Only time will tell me
What you could never.