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Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? (Free verse) by horus8

I was once on the best list, but then I proved you all fucking wrong by writing this. Think about that. Now I'm cool again, on poemranker. I go door to door & sell Avon A solicitor, A smiling wholesale artist. Sometimes, late at night, I think of my poor naked poems being lashed and mounted. Forced into #1. That's when Faith saves the day. She rides in on a miniature painted pony with a disco jingle background. Wearing a Victoria's secret get up, Just to shove a ten right up my ass. Somehow convinced I possibly could give a shit. Thank god, she's not blind anymore, etc. Tomorrow, I was thinking about selling my soul to the devil in return for knowing the true identity of all pronouns, always. That, and a monogrammed hand towel collection in peach, and burnt umber. That says, "Broccoli, Poetry, Dysentary, Murder" But some how shortened and more poignant Like sex with your weak hand and a toothbrush that part times as your keyboard-cleaner/hip hop-medallion. Why? Why? Why! Was I so hard on shit poets? Because... Chewbacca needed Han Solo to translate. I think that pretty much sums up what I think about voting Lobbyists, and your idea of Democracy. So take a good look at yourself, The next time you get the urge To form words and judge with that gash in your face substituting for a mouth.

Shardik 10-Aug-03/2:50 PM
It's not the first time I've been rejected. I've been rejected everywhere twice. Granted not by huge publishers, or on a top dollar level, but all the same, some very reputable literary mags. I hardly raised a stink about The NFG turn down, and naturally did not incluse Z, she's been nothing but cool to me. The truth of the matter is I detest everything, and will use any subject or opportunity to stretch my craft whether it's you, Mrs. Cornsoul, harper's Bazaroprobono, ticks, rottenfish, soup, murder, pollen, Voyeurism, Bochilism, Niggers, triggers, bats, rats, mom, dad, murder, Elton John. It doesn't matter. I'll attack anything randomly, or defend something whole heartedly, but when i'm provoked I have trouble stopping, until the deal is closed. Nine inch nailed, over, kaput, finet. For christ sake I write about smurfs, prostitution, and abandonment? Don't confuse me typing out a few small comments to mean I'm in some kind of denial? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHY! WHY? SWEET LORD CAN'T I SCORE A GIG AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. DIE YOU NFG DOGS DIEEEEEEEE! HOW DARE YOU DENY MY TRITE GASSY ATTEMPTS AT CONVEYING MY LOVE FOR THE WORLD through verse ARGH, OH LORD, THE PAIN IS ALL AROUND. I better go burn a spoon and pick up my old lady at the chicken shack buy my son back from the pawn shop, and call it quits. THANKS P AND K! I NEED A LOT OF LUCK, and a cold hockeye puck for my failure to give a... Yep, poetry, wow, it's infinitely appliable everywhere. I feel like jack fucking Coolstow, in a glass bottomed ass wagon a drift on the Mediajew Sea. But lord knows I have hope, i mean dope. Did you know that in Reno there is a school called Swope? Weird... Jus weird wild stuff.




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