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Janine (a set of haikus) (Haiku) by capachijim

Your serenity, The grace that makes me want more, More of what I love. The prettiest one, Everyone meets in their life, That captures them so. My privation, My own inamorata, In whom I confine. Let us become one, So that a zephyr of love, Can finally veil.

horus8 14-Jun-03/7:19 PM
Nicely done, did you know that I was the first person on this site to group together sets of haikus to tell a broader story? Now you do. My only red mark would be
"The prettiest one,
Everyone meets in their life,
That captures them so."

Using one right before everyone? And then again later, unless your title was "one" then it might work, but not here. Change second stanza's "one" into a stronger none, or verb, such as nymph, thing, love, girl, can, upholestry, get my drift? Otherwise 8. Now leave me alone.




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