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Extended Stay (the motel) (Free verse) by THE GOD OF DEATH

I sit On crumbling foundations, Hunched, like the old man I am. A witness to humanity As it falls with me. I see: An old girl who grows up too quickly Between Parents Too caught up in their fight To remember why they do. She escapes, running Down the crumbling halls, Tripping over cracked pavement And stops, Resting her face against Cold, rough, stone, To hide her confused sobs And unloved tears. down the hall: A woman fumbles with needlepoint Ecstacy, Shooting warm nothing into her life. Color explodes into euphoria, And the warmth takes her away From the cracked water stains On the yellowed ceiling And the roaches Scurrying away from her frenzy. She sees God and holds His hand, As the blanket around her muffles From above, the mechanic rhythm Of another's ecstacy, As empty as the one below. The old man, to be young again, Takes pleasure in the act, While the woman Underneath Prays for its end. Her prayer is answered With a gasp and a shudder, As the squeaks decrescendo To a soft pianissimo as Another awakens, A sharp staccato, Of cold sweat. A burning scream frozen on the lips Of horrors long relived. Trembling fingers grope darkness, Searching For their familiar friend: The drink to quiet Haunting nightmares filled with demons Drowning in amber bottles. back to the room of hollowed needle promises: The junkie gets what she wants, As her heart beats Slower and slower, Until she finally gets to see God for the very first real time but watches Him fade away. above, The man falls asleep, And the prostitute Moves to get the money Off he dresser as promised With her naked body, Colored in fever buzzing From the neon outside. Another day she eats So she leaves, passing the crying girl who Covers her ears to quiet The veteran's screams. She closes her eyes to wake up, Then opens them, And realizes this Is the only nightmare She really has.

horus8 5-Mar-03/12:18 PM
Don't get me wrong. I like it really, you have woven a finely crafted tale of superb stereotyping and thought provoking inuendo's but in actuality I don't believe that you have the inside lane on what these people have went through. Which leaves a bit of a silly taste in my mouth. Now, obviously i don't believe you to be a chigger on any level. don't be ridiculous. i'm just stating my opinion. i'm not one of these poets bent on explaining pointless rhyme explanations or pentametor. I am not one to argue Neoclassic from Romantic or imitation to intentional fallacy. I consider most poets at six having the ability to rhyme in some creative way, thus it's like math professors discussing simple arithmitic so, point being, when you came over to my poem and started talking rhyme gibberish and all of this other simpleton rubbish i was a bit perturbed, that is all. Poetry is hardly about rhyming. It is an art form used by god's to create entire galaxies. it is magical and should not be taken lightly by dentists or asians anywhere lest they go blind and mad. When you can write a Roman A` Clef get back to me. Durt or God of death or betty or whoever. What i know is people, and you knew very few of the people you presented here in this tale even remotely (maybe one). This is all my opinion, and i am entitled to it. What i am saying in all 'tenses possible' is don't come shit on my yard and not expect me to piss on your fence.




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