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His Dying Words (2nd draft) (Free verse) by Ranger

Time slowed, and for an instant it seemed Forever, he was granted The eternity he required To explain how much more he wished he'd loved her And within a fraction of a cricket's song His final breath floated away With the wonderful words she longed for As they dissipated into the echoes Of a deserted corridor "I love you too", she wept But her child would never know Just how much so Condolences and cards rang hollow The maternity ward faded to silence

scitz 16-Feb-03/2:59 AM
Its actually Caducus, Ranger this is quite a mature piece, I love all the lines except the 1000 winds, four winds is ok, try and find out the name for the most desructive wind is, as this is all about destruction. The end line should be simply this...dozens of sympathy cards, but condolences ring hollow.

something like that, but in your words. I'm giving a 9 here and be encouraged this I respect more than your other stuff.




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