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Fragment (Lyric) by goldfish

The lake a cathedral window Stained by the setting sun The loon a pensive mourner Whose requiem now is done The raft a restless baby Rocked in gentle arms The moon a watchful goddess In a vestry of the stars The dawn a voice from heaven Lighting the waves below

horus8 20-Dec-02/10:48 AM
your so intelligent to call this fragment, because it is? pretty though, my problem with poetry like this is that it doesn't lose anything to gain anything...it doesn't take any chances..it's what i would term 'safe' poetry. In other words it wont change the world, but maybe a fragment of the world like the ivory coast? also, because it is missing that last rhyming stanza to push it over the top, you will continue to not get tens, but nines christof. i'm sure some schmuch will come along and be like omg and give it a ten within the next ten minutes, but i feel robbed..totally second placed..wich isn't necessarily bad all the time. i guess.




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