PART THE FIRST There once was a girl called Dovina Who claimed to be a ballerina, But the girth of her thighs Showed her claims to be lies, And she fled in disgrace to Argentina. We summoned her with a subpoena Demanding that she attend the sports arena So that we could calculate Her burgeoning weight But she drowned herself in the marina. PART THE SECOND The was a young girl named Dovina Who drove a piss-yellow Cortina. One day about town She slid on a brown* And spazzed up a self-employed cleaner. *brown n. an ethnic hobo or street urchin; a stain. PART THE THIRD A young ne'er do well named Dovina Tried trading her minge for a weiner. In lieu of the swap She was cuffed by a cop, And brought in on a lewd misdemeanor. PART THE FOURTH There once was a dog named Dovina, Whom tried to lick herself cleaner, Whilst her bum she did rim, She chanced on her quim, Which tasted of stale Oringina.