1) Local Derby Match Cov VS Villa Beaten till Aston Villa claret The sky blue hooligan uttered ‘who’s beat the villa now you cant’ then finished him off with a free kick in the windpipe. 2) Refused Entry to Mr G’s 1998 Bouncer: ‘I cant let you in wearing that’ why whats wrong with it? Bouncer: ‘Look I told you you aint coming with them on they’re too fuckin studenty’ but I am a student Bouncer” ‘not very smart though are you, I said you aint comin in ‘can I speak to the manager’ Bouncer: Unless you wanna speak to my fuckin fists mate I suggest you fuck off ‘whats your name I’m complaining’ ‘I’m God here now fuck off 3) The Skydomes defiant message to Brummies as works about to finish on the Skydome ‘Skydome opening soon – Sorry Birmingham’ Birminghams Answer The multi million pound refurbished Bull ring centre and no embarressing quip. 4) Kebab Shop Customer 3AM near Scholars nightclub Rough looking girl reeking of vodka barges through the queue and says to the Middle Eastern worker who served her ‘your kebabs are dirty they just made me puke’ middle eastern guy replies ‘no madam you is drunk’ ‘you fuckin kosovans do my head in takin over our city’ (girl then ralphs up against his wall)