*Warning: This is a Madlib of the dirtiest joke ever told and is not an original piece of work that I can claim to be mine. This version was found under the Wikipedia version of the Joke "The Aristocrats" If you are offended by the thought of the most vile and disgusting acts ever thought up by man then I suggest you don't read anything further than this. A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned." The man says, "But, this is really special." The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?" He replies, "Well, my wife and I come out on stage and she begins to sing the Star Spangled Banner while I (verb) her roughly from behind. After a minute of this, my (noun)s come out and begin to do the same, but my (noun)'s singing the original To Anacreon in Heaven lyrics while my (noun) performs (adj.) (noun) on her." The agent looks uncomfortable, but the man continues, "Just when my ( noun) hits the highest note in the song, my (noun) and I switch partners. He turns my (noun) around and gives her a (nastiest noun you can think of) before having her perform (adj.) (noun) on him. When the song's over and we're both getting close, we all stop and lay down on the stage." The man smiles fondly as he recalls, "This is the best part: our (noun) then comes out on the stage, and he's trained to (verb) each one of us to (noun) in turn. He just goes right down the line, looking as happy as can be! We all get up and take a bow." He looks at the agent and says, "Well, that's the act. What do you think? " The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, " That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?" "The Aristocrats!" The man replies. Feel free to give your versions you sick sick sick bastards.