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To Brittany (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta

I don’t know why life's so tough on you, Little angel, precious child. Why dark clouds want to take away that sunshine smile That so befits your cherub face. Why thunderstorms want to chase you To the forests dark and deep Or why the night comes quickly by to Scare you till you scream. Yet through it all I’m sure there is A gap, a vent, a tiny hole… That makes your innocent rays of gold Touch a patch of land that needs you most Perhaps a wink, a smile, a word… Who knows. You might perhaps touch my soul.

Ranger 26-Apr-06/12:15 PM
This is really nice. The rhymes kept it moving fluidly and the imagery is direct and vivid. I think in your last poem I commented about your writing being like a sketch; well this is a pastel landscape.
I would change two aspects of it - firstly the repetition (the first 'perhaps' - change to 'maybe', and the second 'smile') and 'gap' didn't quite seem right for clouds. No, I can't explain why I said that, it just seemed slightly off centre. The rest is magnificent.




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