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Good old days (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta

When she was little, a life carefree, She'd sing and dance in her home by the sea. She'd chase butterflies all day long, Singing 'Send me the pillow', her favourite song. She'd swing her arms above her head Go round in circles on the green turf. She remembers how happy she used to be In a world of her own. Gone are those days when she'd run wild and free Play I spy with friends or climb up a tree, Or jump from the branches, or slide down a wall If only she could relive it all. If only I could relive it all!

ALChemy 7-Apr-06/6:59 AM
The second stanza is jolting because, as Dovina said, it doesn't fit with the rest of the poem. Lose the last stanza, it's not needed. Being vague sometimes can make your poem more applicable to other peoples situations and thus more easy for them to identify with it. The thought of the last line in the poem is already in the readers head before they actually see it. So if you take away the last line the sentiment will still be there without you having to actually say it. One of the best things about poetry is when somrthing is said without actually being said.




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