Replying to a comment on:

Good old days (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta

When she was little, a life carefree, She'd sing and dance in her home by the sea. She'd chase butterflies all day long, Singing 'Send me the pillow', her favourite song. She'd swing her arms above her head Go round in circles on the green turf. She remembers how happy she used to be In a world of her own. Gone are those days when she'd run wild and free Play I spy with friends or climb up a tree, Or jump from the branches, or slide down a wall If only she could relive it all. If only I could relive it all!

amanda_dcosta 6-Apr-06/11:20 PM
Dovina and Ranger,

The main body of the poem is to describe the feelings of a little girl who once was me. That girl had a wonderful childhood that she wants it all back.... The feeling is so intense that that girl, now, the present me just wants it all back... and hence it's in exclamation, and changed to the first person. It's more like a sigh. Maybe, I could delete the last line or change it back to the third person.

Thanks for the critiques and votes.

4/4....Send me the pillow that you dream on
Don't you know that I still care for you
Send me the pillow that you dream on
So darling I can dream on it too.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001