Caducus6 Apr 2006

Plus points are for the seemingly lack of self pity and though fairly generic in word choice you have knack for narrative and characteriztions i could care about. Rangers right about the end as the ancient style of words such as o'er is like mixing chocolate with cabbage.

Title could be more fitting and just called 16 months.

I also think the four continents / one nest scenario could be milked more for poignancy.

You give me a lot of ideas from what i have read, the potential i can see but i find you could be gettin more from your writing if you second read or draft your work further.